Sunday, October 05, 2025

Women, Obedience, and Voice: From Manusmriti to Sangam Poetry — and Gandhi’s Own Marriage

Intro

Today, on Gandhi Jayanthi, I found myself reflecting not just on Gandhi’s Experiments with Truth, but also on a bigger question: how have different traditions imagined the place of women? Were they seen as independent voices, or as obedient shadows? From the verses of the Rigveda to the laws of Manusmriti, from the Qur’an to Sangam poetry, and even in Gandhi’s own marriage with Kasturba, the story swings between control and freedom. This essay is my attempt to trace that journey — and to ask what it tells us about our past, and our future.


Women Between Obedience and Independence: A Comparative Reading of Aryan, Islamic, and Tamil Traditions

The way civilizations imagine women reveals the moral compass of their culture. Across India’s Aryan–Hindu texts, Islamic scripture, and Tamil classical literature, we see three different trajectories. Each tradition offers moments of empowerment, but also strong frameworks of control. The contrast between them is striking, and in many ways, Tamil literature stands apart.

Aryan–Hindu Tradition: From Autonomy to Obedience

The earliest layer of Vedic writing, the Rigveda, does not entirely silence women. Names like Lopamudra, Gargi, and Maitreyi still shimmer across the pages, women who composed hymns or challenged philosophers in debate.

Lopamudra’s hymn is remarkable: she speaks of desire and asks her husband not to neglect the pleasures of love. It is a woman’s voice, unapologetic and commanding.

Yet this early autonomy narrows with time. By the age of the Dharmashastras, the script is flipped. Manusmriti declares:

“In childhood a woman is under her father, in youth under her husband, in old age under her sons; she should never be independent.” (5.148)

The Ramayana offers Sita, the pativrata wife whose obedience is her identity, who undergoes fire to prove her chastity. The Mahabharata lets Draupadi question her humiliation, but punishes her independence by making her the spark of war.

Islamic Tradition: Equality in Faith, Dependence in Society

The Qur’an introduced a radical notion in its own context: men and women were equally capable of salvation.

“Whoever does righteous deeds, male or female, We shall grant them a good life.” (Qur’an 16:97)

Women like Khadijah, the Prophet’s first wife, ran thriving businesses; Aisha, his later wife, became a scholar and transmitter of hadith. Yet Qur’an 4:34 described men as “protectors and maintainers of women,” embedding guardianship into law.

“If I were to command anyone to prostrate to another, I would command a woman to prostrate to her husband.” (Hadith, Ibn Majah 1852)

Tamil Tradition: The Voice of Women

In the Sangam corpus, women are not silent figures in the household; they are poets, lovers, mothers, queens. The heroine (talaivi) of Akananuru or Kuruntokai speaks of love, longing, hesitation, even resistance.

Kuruntokai 40: A girl tells her lover — “Do not come openly, the village will talk.” A simple line that shows awareness, negotiation, and choice.

Avvaiyar, Nachchellaiyar, and Andal — their works were canonized. In Purananuru, mothers lament fallen sons with dignity. The Tirukkural praised the wife as greater than wealth. Andal chose God as her beloved; Karaikkal Ammaiyar chose Shiva over worldly life.

A Modern Reflection: Gandhi and Kasturba

Even in modern times, the question of women’s independence versus obedience did not vanish. Gandhi, in his Experiments with Truth, admitted that in his early years he was jealous and controlling, expecting Kasturba to obey. Though he later spiritualized his life through celibacy, he still imposed it on her without consent.

Kasturba resisted in small and large ways, sometimes clashing with his ideals, sometimes joining him in political struggle. She died in detention during the Quit India movement — proof that she carved her own dignity both within and beyond her husband’s shadow.

The Contrasts

  • In Aryan–Hindu shastras, the independent woman is silenced in favor of the obedient wife.
  • In Islamic law, the woman is equal before God but dependent before men.
  • In Tamil tradition, the woman is a partner in love, a mourner in war, a poet in the canon, a saint in devotion.
  • In Gandhi’s own marriage, modern India still replayed the same tension — ideals of truth coexisting with patriarchal control, and a woman resisting within its shadow.

Conclusion

History shows that patriarchal systems often narrow women’s independence into obedience. Yet, Tamil literature stands as proof that a culture can imagine women otherwise — not as shadows of men, but as thinkers, poets, lovers, saints. And in modern history, Kasturba’s defiance alongside Gandhi’s confessions remind us that these questions of equality and obedience are not relics of the past — they still haunt, they still challenge, they still demand our attention.


Closing Note

The tension between obedience and independence in women’s lives has echoed across centuries — in scriptures, in literature, and even in modern leaders’ homes. But how much of that has really changed today? Do we still glorify obedience more than voice?

What do you think? Are we moving towards a world that values women’s voices, or are we still carrying the chains of old traditions? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Logical Hallucinations of a Sunken Cost Fallacy

Why we hold on longer than logic advises—and what we sometimes discover along the way

We like to believe our choices are guided by reason. Yet one of the oldest traps in decision-making is the sunk cost fallacy—the belief that because we’ve already invested time, money, or effort, we must continue, even when logic says otherwise.

The real danger? The logical hallucinations our minds create to justify holding on. They sound rational, but they’re illusions.