Never Let any Westerner

I knew it would happen... that Minneapolis Guy who attended my wedding reception had wriiten a blog about indian wedding, quoting me...$!@*$^, thanks a lot uncle Bosco :). One thing I noticed, his language was simple,despite his long long suffixes... it could be one of those priesthood virtues....


Indian Wedding Ceremony-noted by Prof.Edward Ulrich,Ph.D,USA

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Perambalur-Feb 2008

I spent the first two weeks following the departure of my students finishing up everything involving the course and resting from the experience. Following this, my first main destination was Kulittalai, a village near Trichinopoly where Abhishiktananda had founded a monastery. On the way to Kulittalai we stopped at Perambalur, the hometown of Bosco’s wife, Amali. There we attended a wedding of one of her relatives. This was the first time I had attended an Indian wedding ceremony and I was very happy to have been included in this three day event.

The first day was a gathering of extended family at the groom’s family home. There I spent many long hours sitting with the family. I knew very few of the people, but Tamils love foreigners and the environment was so different from America that it was fun to be present. One difference in the environment was that extremely loud music was played on speakers outside the home both day and night. Indians are very proud of marriage, and the music announced to the village the good fortune settling on the family.

The wedding ceremony was Roman Catholic, so I was startled to find out that the second day consisted of Hindu-based rituals in the home. However, I was learning, as I had been learning for years, never to be surprised in India. These rituals involved of arrangements of food and flowers, and anointing the bridegroom with sandalwood paste and the red kumkum powder. Although learning not to be surprised, I was startled again on the same day, for I learned that the wedding service would be held at 6:30 am on Monday morning! A wedding early in the morning on a Monday? That seemed perverse to me; Monday mornings are a miserable time for Americans, celebration is the last thing on our minds then.

Many of the celebrations were held in the local Kalyana Mandapam or “Wedding Hall.” These mandapams, used by Hindus, Muslims, and Christians, are huge, square buildings decorated with brightly colored lights. The lights attract one’s attention from a long distance, announcing the joy of the families. In traditional Indian weddings the bride and bridegroom are regarded as a prince and princess. Indeed, at the mandapam Deepak and Sophia looked very regal, Deepak in a dark suit and Sophia in a brilliant red sari and bedecked from head to foot with jewelry. The faces of the couple were very solemn, and bold drumming served as a continual backdrop.

At the mandapam the couple had to spend long hours greeting the throngs of family and friends who come to visit. The women wore saris with deep, beautiful colors, while the men wore white dhotis and light colored Western dress shirts. Whenever a family elder greeted the couple they would, in a rapid and fluid manner, immediately drop to their feet in prostration. The sight of this young, fancily dressed couple dropping so quickly in prostration before the frail body of an elder, dressed simply in white, was stirring. Further, the very loud drumming magnified the both the joy and solemnity, making it seem as though a royal couple from ancient times was holding court. Also, the reader may be aware that a common Indian greeting is to join the palms in prayer before someone. Though religious in nature, when I saw this greeting given by the groom in his suit and with the drumming as a backdrop, the gesture seemed very worldly and masculine, a manly gesture of fellowship.

I was struck by how well the western suit and tie on the groom looked with the sari on the bride. Traditional Indian clothing accentuates differences in manners and appearance between men and women, and the difference in clothing between Deepak and Sophia, which was a difference of Western vs. Indian clothing, accentuated the difference between genders. The long, straight, and box-like nature of the suit contrasted with the broad, loose, and flowing bride’s garment. Also, the dark color of the suit highlighted the woman’s bright red sari. The hair of the bride was tightly bound back. Normally I associate long, flowing hair with beauty, for one can appreciate the shape and texture of the hair as a part of the overall appearance. However, having the hair tied back accentuated the beauty of the face, which included high cheekbones and dark, sparkling eyes.